“Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, ‘Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?’
‘No Lord,’ She said.
And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I. Go and sin no more.’” – John 8:10-11, NLT
I had been there without purpose, lost in the darkness. I was there as a space, waiting for something, for some type of meaning.
Finally, that came. Words were spoken. It happened so quickly. One day went by, then two, then seven.
I was seeing these things brought to life, names being given. Lights and then a light for the darkness. Living creatures, then living man. A perfect plan taking shape, light taking over. Finally, my once formless, void-less self, was brought to form, was made a house. I was chosen, out of everything else. I was the space that was spoken to, and I abounded with thrilling creation. I was a place that would hold something so incredibly dear and near to the ones made in His Image.
There was wisdom, light. It was beautiful.
There was an enemy lurking, buried in the depths. The reason I’d been enveloped in darkness. Surely, he couldn’t win. How could anything created by the Creator go against Him? How could some slivering creature deceive those made in the Creator’s very Image? Imago Dei.
He desired a relationship. He desired true love. So, He provided free will. The choice.
I shuttered as she took the fruit, making the wrong choice.
Though I still had a purpose and housed such beauty, a darkness I had never known before entered. It felt as though it were strangling me. I had seen such life before, but now there would be death. I wondered how this story would turn out. Would there be wrath? Would I go back to what I had been before He spoke light over me? Would my story ever have redemption? I was a void, a dark shell; but He spoke purpose and life over me.
Yet sin entered in, and the darkness I thought I knew before abounded.
I waited, for thousands and thousands of years. Prophecy after prophecy of one who would redeem.
Then there was 400 years of silence and burdens unimaginable. The weight kept pressing on, the darkness of that within me grew heavier with each passing day, with each passing sin. It felt hopeless.
But then, just when it felt like the void had settled in forever and the new darkness was here to stay, a star rose in the east and with the breath of a newborn, the greatest Light had entered.
A Light to forever shine in the darkness, to never be extinguished.
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” – John 1:5, NLT
Everyone has sinned, we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. For me, it feels like I’m good at falling short every day. The gossip. The judgement. I stub my toe and a word pops out that I shouldn’t say. Someone is just a little too good looking. There are books, movies, shows and music that have themes, scenes and words that just does not simply honor God in any form. Instead, it tears Him down and makes a mockery. I lie, I cheat, I fear. I want too many things. The greed, the frustration and anger, contempt, unforgiveness, bitterness. The selfishness, the judging, the criticizing.
I sin. I fall short.
We all have.
It’s engrained in us. I feel horrible when I fall. But sometimes, I either turn around and do it again, or I keep pleading forgiveness for something that, if I was truly sincere the first time I repented, He’s already forgiven me.
Then sometimes I repent, and when tempted to go back, God helps me be strong. But what happens when I sin and fall short, when I give in again? Why do I keep going back to something that doesn’t give me life? Something that only satisfies the temporary and leaves me second guessing if I could ever deserve the eternal?
Because the thing is, I don’t deserve it.
But Jesus bore the full brunt of what I deserve, of what my sin does, on the cross. Because of Christ’s perfect work, I can have eternity with Him.
Nothing is greater than Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. No sin I commit is too big for His redemption story. I believe it’s the repetitiveness, it’s the weak side, it’s the time and time again that I fall short, that hurts the most. I’ll ask Him a million times to forgive me. And because He is truly good, He is truly just, and His sacrifice was perfect, He does. He already has. Yet knowing Him, I want to please Him and honor Him with my life. I want to go and sin no more. But we have a very real enemy that is always waiting to trip us up, waiting for us to fall. And it’s in those moments that He will use and abuse to make us think that we are no longer loved or cared for. To make us think that we’re so dirty and buried in our sin that we have no right to ask for forgiveness and come boldly before the throne of our gracious God once again. Sin separates because Satan steals.
Jesus and His perfect work ensure that though we sin and fall short, when we come before Him and repent – there is nothing that Christ won’t forgive (except the unforgivable sin which is denying the Holy Spirit): “Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of eternal sin.” – Mark 3:29, NIV
We are saved by grace through faith in Jesus (Ephesians 2:8-9). This world is going to give us a reason to sin every day. Sometimes we wake up on the wrong side of the bed and that can affect us. Or the stresses pile up so very high, and that can make us want to give in to temptation. We have all sinned and fallen short (Romans 3:23).
But. God.
God’s grace. There is nothing that we could ever do. We can sit and beg and fall to our knees and plead for forgiveness a million times. We can even resort to making some sort of sacrifice; but what sacrifice would matter when the only Perfect Sacrifice laid down His life to conquer death and the grave?
We have all sinned. But He tells us broken, fallible creatures to, “Go and sin no more.” When we fail? I believe that’s His same command. Repent. Genuinely, remorsefully, repent. Realize what you have done isn’t in God’s best interest for you. Realize the stain. Realize the bloody cross and the punishment that you deserved, that He bore. He bore our sins and sicknesses, and He conquered death and the grave so we can have eternal life through Him.
We can never fully comprehend the entire weight of what sin does until we look at the death Jesus had to die for us. We must closely examine how He took our place. The beatings, the lashings, the crown of thorns, the nails into His wrists and feet. The bloody cross. His blood for ours. His life for ours. Death had to die so we could live. Without Him, we would be bound to the Old Testament laws and the sacrificial system. Without Him, we would be hopeless, barely getting by, guilt eating at us until the next sacrifices were made. An animal’s life for what we had done. All eloquence and grandeur, but it would never be enough. It was never enough until love came down and took our place.
“The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on earth He saw that everything they imagined was consistently and totally evil.” – Genesis 6:5, NLT
I’ve read Genesis so many times, but this time, it jumped out at me. With every evil intentioned theme in movies, shows and other media, this feels like what’s going on in our world today. It feels like the United States has quickly, devastatingly, become Babylon, where everything people imagine – especially things highlighted in the media – has become consistently, and totally evil.
This is also the first place in the Bible where God’s heart breaks. Because of humanity’s sin and wickedness. The floods came along with Noah’s story, where the few righteous (Noah’s family) were saved. Everyone else was swept away.
But all have sinned, all have fallen short. Nothing could ever truly fix it. No one sacrifice would cover a person’s sin throughout their lifetime, nothing could ever truly be enough. People would always have to repent, to plead. To find the right lamb.
But God so loved the world.
God, and only God, could know the one, perfect sacrifice. The only Lamb that could cover every sin throughout all of eternity. Only God, through taking our place, could bear the weight of the world, bear our punishment, and give us freedom. The full extent of our wickedness, the full extent of our sins and sicknesses and sorrows. Of death.
Only God. He gave His one and only Son, Jesus. “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21, NLT
It was there, on the cross, full circle, where His heart broke. Before the flood, before the rainbow, His grand redemption plan was set into place. He broke there before Noah, and it broke for all humanity forever on the cross (deduced by the blood and the water. Jesus died of a broken heart.) By His grace, through faith, we are saved. It was nothing that we could ever do but everything He’s done. Because of Jesus, we have hope, we have eternity, and we can rejoice because, though we don’t deserve it, we get to have His peace and His joy. We get to rest in our Savior. We are redeemed. We are given new life. And it’s all because of Jesus!
Jesus. It’s all because of Him. It was nothing I could ever do, or you could ever do. We are so imperfect. But the perfect one bore our sins and sicknesses and conquered death so we can know eternal life.
Paul once said about His sinful nature:
“So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is the sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is the sin living in me that does it… I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.” – Romans 7:14- 25, NLT
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He believed his cause was of righteousness, and he was doing the right thing. He was all in for persecution and condemning His followers. He hated them with a passion he believed was from Yahweh. He lashed out. He agreed with the killing of the young man they called Stephen. Surely Yahweh would be pleased. After all, how dare this man who came from Nazareth be called the Son of God? After all, he was condemned to die on the cross. Found guilty. He was buried in a sinner’s grave. Surely, no Messiah prophesied would come as He did. So poorly, hanging out with despised tax collectors and other sinners. Fishermen. The diseased outcasts. Manipulating people by the thousands and using bizarre methods to work His supposed miracles.
Yet… he saw Him when he shouldn’t have. He was acting in self-righteousness, following the regulations of the religious leaders instead of actually seeing what the prophets had written. What He had fulfilled. He had fulfilled everything.
He saw Him, real as ever, risen. He was blinded yet seeing more than he had ever seen.
He had been malicious to His followers, promoting their punishment and murders. Despising His Way.
Only when he was blind did he truly see that He was The Christ.
When he saw, when he accepted, He guided him to his actual purpose.
If the Risen Messiah could choose him after all I had done, after the depths of his sin, then He must truly love everyone. He must desire every heart, every soul. The Jews first…and also, the Gentiles (Romans 1:6).
He would tell them about Him. All of them. He would tell of this redemption story set in place from the beginning of time. He would boast, from now on, only in Christ Jesus and Him crucified (Galatians 6:14).
The resurrected King had redeemed Saul, and turned him into Paul. He brought Paul out of death into life. Out of the darkness, into His light. He was so incredibly blind, held by the weight of what he had been taught to be right. Bound by the pride of religion and laws, while missing that He came for relationship. He came humbly. And Paul could finally, finally see.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 6:23, ESV
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