“Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” – Ephesians 5:26, NLT
I’m a root that grows. I sink deeper through an outburst. Words not meant to be heard.
If they’re not careful, I will fester like an infected wound. My roots will grow down and down, wrapping around and strangling the gut, the heart. I breed bitterness. I lead to vengeance. Sometimes even murder. If they hold on to me, if they listen and aren’t slow to me, I will ultimately destroy them.
But if they’re still, if they choose a different path – they might even change the world for the better.
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” – James 1:19-20
My anger usually comes in short bursts (road rage, football team losing upset). I get hurt sometimes, I get upset when someone does something unkind, or something I think is wrong. But have I ever yelled at a person in an argument (not road rage, where I *have* indeed yelled as someone cut me off)? No. I don’t do anger well. I don’t do arguing well.I don’t see how petty arguments are necessary. I hate conflict. I get angry with myself. Upset with my procrastination, my sin, what I haven’t done – but I think that tends to be more stress.
I was overwhelmingly hurt and frustrated by people with ill intentions after my family had passed away.
I’ve dealt with a lot. After the loss of a loved one, I felt like, for years after, it was a battlefield. People came and seemed to rage a battle all because of greed. They manipulated and cheated and plotted. God protected me every time, but it was eye-opening. It was the greatest lesson in my life. Somewhere along the way… my heart got hardened. There are the people that I trust completely, the ones who have been the hands and feet of Jesus. But there are others that my guards go up. I wait for them to stumble. I wait for them to show a side so I can turn away. To prove my distrust was wrong, that my suspicions were correct.
I became someone I didn’t like. Frustrated and saying things I shouldn’t say in traffic and with bad drivers. Judgey over people. Irritated when things don’t go my way. More suspicious over every encounter because I don’t know them, so what could they possibly want with me. A neighbor would do something that would irk me, so I would let them know in my own way; instead of being still and waiting. I would put others down to others, because how dare they.
Sometimes, there’s something in my gut that says not to trust. To be on guard. To be wary. And is it my bitterness, or is it the Holy Spirit? Is the anger of a past hurt still poisoning me, or is it just anger? Is it my foolishness, or is it Christ warning me about a certain situation?
According to Healthline, “The physical signs and symptoms of anger include: Increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, tingling sensation, muscle tension.” Not only this, but anger leads way to, “Irritability, frustration, anxiety, rage, stress, feeling overwhelmed, guilt.”
Healthline.com/Why Am I So Angry, medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD. By Erica Cirino, 2019
The Bible warns us about a lot of things, and bitterness and anger are a couple of things we’re warned about.
Every time in the Bible when it refers to an unyielding heart, it shows “God hardened their hearts”…against Him.
Anger is the short-tempered outbursts and frustrations, unleashing of a grudge. Bitterness is the poisonous root that grows, the silent killer that destroys (Hebrews 12:15).
It can feel easier to be angry. It’s one of the passionate emotions, it overrules the docile, humble ones. We’re good about holding grudges, speaking before we think, going with our emotions and wanting to get the weight pressing on us off our chest. So we swerve and make rude gestures, we don’t pick up the phone, we write reviews or go to attorneys for lawsuits.
As Christians, our first instinct should be to pray. Our instincts should be that of mercy and grace. Of peace. Of forgiveness, because we’ve been forgiven. We’re to be peacemakers. But everything about this world tends to make us want to flee in the opposite direction. So many people do have cruel intentions. There are those who thrive off deliberately plotting evil. I think, since COVID, drivers have gotten a bit more reckless – at least in the USA. There’s crime everywhere. We have to be on guard. God gives us the gift of discernment for a reason.
If it’s from God, if it’s His just emotion in us, then how we’re feeling will never lead to bitterness, resentment and vengefulness. How we’re feeling will lead us to Jesus. To pray.
Yes, we get frustrated with our parents, impatient with our children, and into squabbles with our spouses. But if something we do leads to one or the other running and slamming the door, leads to separation and resentment, our response should be to humble ourselves and go to Jesus. Nothing should be that important that it destroys the ones you hold most dear. Nothing should be so important that it puts your life and the lives of others in jeopardy over the way you’re driving. Nothing is that important that it destroys relationships and ruins lives.
God’s just anger gives life, and fights for it. It hates what is wrong and holds true to what is right.
We are to embrace discernment, to be on guard. And people will inevitably wrong us. Some people can be so cruel. We should always listen to our gut instinct (the Holy Spirit), and the advice of those we trust. We can forgive, but if someone does something that is truly cruel, is truly meant to bring you harm, then still forgive, between you and Jesus. Because forgiveness is best for you. Because Jesus is so much better at handling things than we could ever be. And if this person truly means harm, do not entertain the one that is deliberately set against you. Do not give a foothold to the enemy. Forgive and move on. Jesus rebuked Satan, and we need to follow His example.
There is righteous anger. God’s Word tells us to be, “You must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” – James 1:19, NLT
Do not be short tempered. Be slow. Pause. Think about it. Is your anger because of your emotions in overdrive, over a fleeting thing that doesn’t carry any weight? Be slow. Think. Or is it about true injustice which can lead to Godly anger? About things like human trafficking, kidnappings, terrorist attacks? About the true injustices of this world that break our hearts for they break the heart of God. So with this righteous anger, we fall on our knees and plead to the King of Kings who says that “Vengeance is mine.” (Romans 12:19)
Anger and bitterness are not what Jesus intends for us. He wants us to love our neighbors. He wants us to offer our enemies our other cheek (Matthew 5:39). He wants us to be humble and gentle, patient and kind. He wants us to not be bitter. He wants us to know that vengeance is His.
If I’m righteously angry it’s to do with injustice, and it’s a heartbreaking anger that motivates me to want to do something to stop injustice. Righteous anger makes me want to pray and petition God, not sharpen my knife.
There is so much injustice in the world. There really are bad drivers out there. There really are bad people out there with ill motives.
We are supposed to have discernment. We are supposed to guard our hearts above all else (Proverbs 4:23). We are to pray about everything (Philippians 4:6-7)
But we are not supposed to be completely cemented, distrustful, angry, and bitter about the world around us, when we have Christ in us the Hope of Glory living on the inside of us.
This world is going to fail us, time and time again. It’s going to frustrate us. But we need to trust that our Father in Heaven will take care of us, protect us and provide for us. We need to press in and seek Him first, so the outsiders with cruel intentions won’t get to us. We need to not be blinded by our rage and judgements but seek Him first.
We need to remember the verse, “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” – Colossians 3:17, NLT
That verse is so humbling. “Whatever you do or say.” Represent Him. Represent Jesus. In whatever we do, we’re His lights. In whatever we say, we’re His messengers. When we gesture inappropriately to the person who cut us off, when we blow back the dirt the other neighbor pushed in our yard, when we judge someone because they don’t measure up to our standards…That is failing that command. Because Jesus wouldn’t. He had so many people against Him. He had so many people making snide remarks and looking for ways to accuse Him and have Him killed. He understands human nature. He could’ve stopped them with a word. He could’ve wiped them out with a flood. He could’ve called angels to start a battle. But He chose the rainbow after the flood, He chose to take our place, He chose the cross.
We are commanded to be “Salt and light” in the world. Yet this world makes it easy for us to distort the salt command and be salty. And distort the light command into thinking we’re showing how that person is wrong.
We’re to be like Jesus. The essence of love, peace, and kindness. Yes, He is the Truth and He brings justice. But we need to bring everything to Him. Our joys, our upsets, our anger.
Whatever we do, whatever we say – people know we’re Christians and we are failing Him when we act like the world.
It was never our petty selves. His purpose, His justice, is far greater. The enemy of our souls, Satan, has been overcome “by the blood of the Lamb and by the Word of their testimony.” -Revelations 12:11, KJV
“But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” – Colossians 3:8
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He had every opportunity to do what was right, but he refused. How could his offering not be acceptable, but his brother’s was? It ate at him, tormenting him, plaguing him. He was so angry.
Maybe he plotted, wondering the ways he could have justice for himself. Maybe it was a spur of the moment outburst. He invited his brother into the fields and attacked him, killing him. All because of anger, and maybe a whole lot of jealousy and pride as well.
Descendants from the very first humans God spoke life to, to mess up so quickly, so drastically. Cain let his anger, his sin win, and is forever known as the first murderer.
“’Why are you so angry?’ the Lord asked Cain. ‘Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.’” – Genesis 4:6-7, NLT
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